Signs You Might be Opening Your Relationship for the Wrong Reasons

Interracial lesbian couple hugging

Relationships are one of the most fulfilling and powerful things we experience. Opening a relationship can be a daunting yet liberating experience, but it’s crucial to embark on this journey for the right reasons. 

Are you Opening Your Relationship for the Wrong Reasons?

Here are a few typical indicators suggesting you might be opening your relationship for the wrong reasons. Let’s begin with some surface-level motivations. 

Lack of Emotional Fulfillment

One common but misguided reason for opening a relationship is a lack of emotional fulfillment within the partnership. If you find yourself constantly seeking validation, love, or happiness outside your relationship, it’s a red flag. Opening your relationship won’t fix these underlying issues. Instead, it might lead to further emotional disconnection between you and your partner.

Seeking External Validation

Another questionable motive is the pursuit of external validation. If the idea of opening your relationship stems from a desire to prove your desirability or attractiveness to others, it’s important to reconsider. Your self-worth should never be contingent on the attention you receive from others. Opening your relationship solely for validation can lead to insecurity and damage the core foundation of your partnership.

Second, we can focus on some communication breakdown that is common in these types of relationships. The following illustrates the main elements of communication breakdown. 

Avoidance of Underlying & Intimacy Issues

When couples face challenges, communication is key. If you’re considering an open relationship as a way to avoid addressing existing problems, it’s a sign of trouble. Ignoring unresolved issues won’t make them disappear; they will likely resurface and complicate matters further down the line. Opening your relationship without resolving existing problems, such as intimacy issues, can strain your bond and lead to misunderstandings.

Couple sitting on couch avoiding one another

Pressure from External Influences

Feeling pressured by societal norms, friends, or even other couples can be a dangerous motivation. Each relationship is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Opening your relationship because others are doing it, without genuine desire or understanding, can lead to resentment and unhappiness. Your relationship should be based on your needs, desires, and boundaries, not external influences.

The third factor is unresolved relationship challenges. The elements of this are the inability to address jealousy, and failure, and set clear boundaries. 

Inability to Address Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it can become toxic if not properly addressed. If you or your partner struggle with jealousy, opening your relationship might exacerbate these feelings. It’s essential to have open and honest conversations about jealousy, establish boundaries, and work on building trust before considering an open relationship. Ignoring jealousy can lead to emotional turmoil and harm your relationship.

Read more about navigating open relationships and jealousy.

Failure to Set Clear Boundaries

Opening a relationship without establishing clear boundaries is a recipe for disaster. Lack of boundaries can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and broken trust. Before taking this step, both partners must communicate their expectations, limits, and desires openly. Failing to set boundaries can result in unintended emotional consequences and create intimacy issues with your partner.

Opening a relationship can be a positive and enriching experience when approached with genuine communication, trust, and mutual understanding. It’s essential to assess your motivations honestly, communicate openly with your partner, and address any existing issues before embarking on this journey. Remember, a strong and healthy relationship is built on love, trust, and respect for each other’s feelings and boundaries.

Read more about common missteps to avoid when opening up a relationship.

 

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Have you considered opening up your relationship? Join the conversation in the comments below! 
Alea DiGirolamo, LCSW

1 comment

  1. This is such a wonderful reminder of the importance of checking in with ourselves and how we’re truly feeling prior to making adjustments in relationships. Really wonderful insight and perspective!

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