Although the holidays are intended to leave us feeling fulfilled, loved, and accomplished, they often leave us feeling more stress than pleasure. Many people are concerned with the amount of time they need to spend with family members during the holidays, and often feel a sense of dread in the weeks leading up. Being surrounded by family, and often being a visitor in a family member’s home, can be overwhelming and often difficult to navigate. There is a magnitude of pressure to be jolly, say “yes” to all festivities, and to spend a significant amount of time with others. It is imperative that we remember to take care of ourselves by doing what we can to reduce our stress during the holiday season.
Here are ways to give yourself the gift of self care and to conquer the stress of increased family commitment during the holiday season:
- Remember to engage in the healthy behaviors that help us manage stress throughout the rest of the year. These healthy behaviors include eating healthy, maintaining an exercise routine, getting enough sleep, and continuing meditation or other spiritual rituals. Although some of these may be difficult to do when you’re in someone else’s home, you should remember to make an extra effort to stay true to them!
- Say “no” to some of the obligations you feel are not completely necessary for you to do or to attend. It’s healthy to participate in all festivities. Sometimes, setting boundaries by simply saying “no” to a family member can make all the difference in the world.
- Make a mental list of what you want the holidays to mean to you this year. When you keep the positive components of the holidays in the back of your mind, you are more likely to avoid unwanted stress.
- Spend time with the family you actually enjoy. Sometimes our closest friends can be considered family more than our actual blood relatives. Make sure to spend time with people who make you the happiest.
- Initiate plans in advance so that you are able to do things on your own terms, versus always succumbing to other people’s plans. If you make a plan in advance, you’ll be mentally prepared and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Keep busy at a party by helping the host. This way you are more focused on helping others and less focused on your own misery or anxieties.
- Do everything in moderation. Do not overextend yourself! Eat in moderation, drink in moderation, and reside in the family room in moderation! If you need a breather, volunteer to do an errand so you can get out of the house for a while. Taking time for yourself can help you gain perspective and realize how to better manage what is going on inside the home.
- Allow time to grieve. We are often reminded of the family members who are not with us during holiday season. It is ok to feel sad and to reflect on the past. Take time to grieve for the loved ones who may not be with you this year.
- Establish realistic expectations. Nothing is perfect, including your family. Let go of false illusions of what “should be” and celebrate “what is.” It also helps to dismiss the idea that you are expected to do everything. Do not be afraid to ask for help and support when needed!
- Pamper yourself with extra love. You are allowed to give yourself a gift, get a massage, read a great book, or take a time-out to watch your favorite movie. It’s OK to have fun!
These small initiatives will help you manage some of the added stress of being surrounded by family members during the holidays. The most important thing to remember is to stay true to yourself and to continue the habits that get you through “regular” days. If you take care of yourself, the holidays do not have to be a time of stress!
This blog is Chapter Five of our recent e-book, “Surviving the Holidaze.” If you like a free copy of this e-book, please click here
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