Nikki Lutin
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3 Tips to Better Manage Anger [Video Blog]

We all have experienced anger before and know that it can take on multiple states, whether it is a passing feeling of annoyance or a full-on rage. Anger can be a healthy emotion if it’s properly identified and appropriately controlled so that it doesn’t impact your daily functioning.

Here are 3 tips to help control your anger from becoming a negative emotion that damages your relationships:

1. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Anger often spikes your heart rate, blood pressure, and energy. Once you are able to identify your anger, deep breathing and picturing relaxing imagery are helpful techniques that diffuse these symptoms and allow you to calm down in the moment. Check out Meditation: My Mind Won’t Stop.

2. Implement Cognitive Restructuring

An angry person often responds to a trigger with dramatic and exaggerated thoughts, such as cursing or over-generalizing. You could learn better ways to react to angry feelings by replacing irrational thoughts with more rational ones. It is important to admit to yourself that responding with angry thoughts is not going to fix the problem. Check out our video blog 5 Ways to Shift Negative Thinking.

3. Improve your Communication

Trying to get your point across when you’re angry never comes out right. Improve communication by slowing down the conversation and truly hearing what the other person is saying. This slowing down can de-escalate your anger toward a coworker, friend, or partner. You may also find that you’ll express yourself more clearly if you’re able to stop the anger from infiltrating your language.


While there are many coping skills that help manage anger, these are just a few. It’s important to practice to figure out what works best for you. If you practice relaxation skills, positive thinking, and better communication when something slightly triggers you, you’ll be more likely to remember to use these skills in moments of more intense anger. The goal is to express your anger in healthy ways without it becoming a full-blown rage.

What other tools or techniques have helped you
manage your anger in the past?

Nikki Lutin, LCSW - NYC Therapist

Nikki Lutin, LCSW - NYC Therapist

Psychotherapist at myTherapyNYC
Offering individual and couples counseling in NYC. Specializing in Anger Management, Depression, Self-Esteem, Grief & Loss, and Parenting,
Nikki Lutin, LCSW - NYC Therapist

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4 replies
  1. Cate
    Cate says:

    Great tips! I like that you talked about relaxing, slowing down and practicing as important things to remember. I like to remind myself that it it okay to feel angry, but that I have a responsibility to myself and others to communicate it effectively without hurting myself or others.

    Reply
  2. Omar
    Omar says:

    Great tips. Especially about slowing down. When all of your senses are heightened it can be difficult to slow down but its well worth it if you want to be able to communicate effectively.

    Reply
  3. Jenny Williams
    Jenny Williams says:

    This is a great range of suggestions that I think cover all the bases – the neocortex (the part of our brain that deals with language, reason, decision-making etc.) ceases to function effectively when we are enraged, so removing ourselves from the situation and / or using relaxation techniques to restore calm in the brain and body is a great place to start if the anger feels “out of control”.

    Reply
  4. Glenn
    Glenn says:

    Yes! Great tips.! Each of these suggestions reminds us to return to the present moment so we can focus on what is happening now rather than escalating the situation or responding in a way that may do more harm.

    Reply

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