Ask a Therapist: Love and Relationships [Transcript]
In this video, I answer some common questions that I receive from clients about love and relationships. The purpose of this is to help people understand their thoughts and feelings about love and relationships. My hope is that this will help you have a clearer understanding of what you are thinking and feeling.
Q: My partner and I argue over small things which makes me afraid to express myself over bigger things. How can I tell them this?
A: It might be best to approach challenges with bigger issues when things are less heated between you and your partner. Perhaps when things are less heated, you and your partner can show up mentally and emotionally prepared to have a constructive conversation about bigger issues.
Read more: How to Have a Difficult Conversation With Someone You Love
Also, some people find it helpful to have weekly check-ins with their partner. In weekly check-ins, you can express your thoughts and feelings about things that have come up over the past week. These weekly check-ins can set the stage for larger conversations that can be held in a constructive and healthy way.
Q: It seems like all of my friends are getting into relationships. How do I deal with the anxiety I feel as the only single person in the group?
A: It is very important to understand your anxiety. Ask yourself: what is your anxiety telling you? Allow yourself to be fully present and enjoy your time with your friends. This can reduce your anxiety. If you are overthinking being single, this will most likely interfere with you enjoying yourself.
Watch: What is Your Anxiety Telling You
Q: My partner says I am dismissive when I get in from work. I only need about 15 minutes to de-stress from my day. How do I ask my partner for this without making them feel dismissed?
A: First, acknowledge what your partner has stated and then let them know that it is not your intention to make them feel dismissed. Secondly, let your partner know how happy you are to see them when you get in after a long day. Then let them know that, after a long day, all you need is 15 minutes to de-escalate from that day and then you can feel fully present for them. Ask them if they are okay with this.
Q: My partner recently expressed interest in having an open relationship. I am curious about this as well, but I am afraid of what it may involve. How can we explore such a sensitive topic in a constructive way?
A: You can revisit the conversation by bringing up what your partner recently stated. You can also express your interest in an open relationship and what that might look like for you. This will allow time and space for a larger conversation on the topic and give you more insight into what your partner is thinking about an open relationship as well.
How do you manage difficult thoughts and feelings in relation to love and relationships?
Join the conversation in the comments below!
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3 comments
These are some great tips, James! You offer some good suggestions for how to communicate and cope through some challenges around relationships and dating. I always think finding ways to sooth yourself and also being honest about what you are feeling in an open and non-attacking way are good strategies for relationship challenges. Thanks again for sharing!
Thanks for sharing these tips, James! I personally stand behind the suggestion to talk things through when the situation is not heated. In my relationship I have found that the best way to communicate is to do so early and often so that issues do not become bigger than we can handle.
These tips are so helpful! When it comes to difficult thoughts and feelings in relation to love and relationships, I try to take the time to self reflect. I ask myself, what is coming up for me? Is something being triggered? And then I think about the best way I can communicate this to my partner. One thing that I find helpful is to think about how my partner receives verbal communication so that I can reduce the amount of miscommunication that can occur when it comes to difficult conversations.