Everyone has a story, and that story is made up of many more intertwined stories. The stories you tell about yourself can change the way you feel, affect your relationships, and can impact your growth and progress. This blog will show you a way to identify and label your stories, and to show ways that the stories you tell may have more of an impact in your daily life than you may think.
Storytelling is part of being a person
Storytelling is one of humankind’s longest running traditions. Distant ancestors from virtually all cultures and backgrounds have used spoken story to carry on tradition, to entertain, to communicate, and even to survive. Yes, we are hard-wired for story, and there are different ways that learning to understand your story and tell it to others could also help to make you feel good.
Stories you tell are influenced by who is listening and how
In my work as a therapist, I have learned that both listening and telling stories can be quite therapeutic. Exploring your stories can be exciting and powerful, but can also feel vulnerable and difficult. Have you ever been talking to someone and it was clear they were not listening to you? Did it change the way you felt? Did it change what you said? Finding an environment where you are being listened to non-judgmentally and actively can allow your stories unfold, to understand them better and to uncover a new sense of yourself.
Dominant versus local stories: Some narratives are a source of strength and self-authorship, and others can get in the way of your progress and wellness
Working with professional storytellers at Narativ Inc., I was introduced to the idea of dominant vs. local stories. When we begin to feel stuck in life, it is often because we are focusing on just one problem story. This problem story can come to dominate the way we think, feel, and interact with others. Dominant stories can come from within you (“I am an anxious person”), develop in families (“I am the achievement-oriented of all the siblings”), or even come from society (“New Yorkers are fast-paced, and no-nonsense”). These stories can then act as stereotypes, disconnecting us from our lived experience, covering important truths about our lives, and generally, causing problems.
The good news is: existing alongside any troublesome dominant stories, we are all made up of many, sometimes hidden alternative and unique local stories. Finding a way to explore our unique individual stories can lead to new views on life, new approaches, and relief from anxiety and sadness that often comes with feeling “stuck” in one dominant story.
Your story starts here
I invite you to think about the stories you tell about yourself and your life. They may revolve around work, relationships, children, or parents, and can be about the distant past, current day, or future. Remember, there are many stories that make you who you are, so if there is one story, or one theme that is getting in the way, take note, and begin to allow yourself to explore your alternative local stories. Also, please feel free to attend my free Webinar to learn more in July—look forward to seeing you there!
How do you know when you are being listened to well? With good listening, what are some alternative stories you may wish to explore? Feel free to answer or leaves comments below!
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What’s Your Story?
Finding Your Voice and Learning What Makes You, YOU!
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2 comments
I can tell by people’s body language whether or not they are engaged and really listening to me. I also can sense a good listener when they reflect back what I’m saying in different language, ask follow up questions, and summarize my main points. These people would be the audience I would want to share more intimate and personal stories with.
Yes, body language is a good sign that someone is listening — leaning in, nodding, eye contact. Those are signs that let me know someone is listening and attentive to what I’m saying. It is interesting when some of the stories we hear about our identities or collective experiences can begin to be perceived as our own stories/truths. Sometimes that can be limiting to the complexity of our whole experience. Telling our own, unique story can be liberating, empowering and allow us to be seen for all of who we are.