Useful Tips for a Female Orgasm [Video]

Useful Tips for a Female Orgasm [Transcript]

Have you ever wondered, “is she faking an orgasm?” No, not with you, right? A 2019 study of over 1000 women found that 59% of women admitted to having faked an orgasm. This blog will offer some useful tips for a female orgasm and provide information to help women have more fully-satisfying sexual experiences. It will also help men, or anyone partnered with a woman, ensure that she doesn’t have to fake it.

While there are different types of female orgasms, this blog will focus on female clitoral orgasms. Those are what would most resemble the Earth-shattering, full-body orgasms that men have. Let’s begin with a really important statistic about the female orgasm. What do you believe is the approximate percentage of women who will reach orgasm regularly just through vaginal penetrative sex? It’s actually only about 18%. This number alone really tells us that most women are not going to have an orgasm just through penetration alone. By comparison, 95% of men say they reach orgasm every time they have sexual intercourse. 

What’s getting in the way of the female orgasm?

So, what’s getting in the way of the female orgasm? Several things may contribute to why most women either will not or will rarely orgasm when they’re having penetrative sex. 

Lack of Clitoral Stimulation

First and foremost, many women need clitoral stimulation in order to become aroused enough to climax. During intercourse, the friction is occurring on the inside of the vagina. However, the physical location of the clitoris is actually on the outside. It’s not really aligned in a way to rub the right spot, so the clitoris is actually missing out on all the action.

Mental Roadblocks

Due to so many common misconceptions about orgasm, many women might feel insecure or shame about their ability to orgasm. For many women, a big part of having a female orgasm is mental, and if insecurities are floating around in their minds, it’s going to be even harder to get there. 

An example of a possible mental roadblock is a lack of information about what is considered normal. Women might assume that other women are having orgasms during sexual intercourse all the time and might feel that there’s something wrong with themselves in comparison. Remember ladies, only 18% of women are having regular orgasms from intercourse by itself, so rest assured there is nothing wrong with you or your partner. 

Another example is the expectation that she will orgasm. This mental roadblock can occur when a partner unknowingly puts pressure on the female. Perhaps by making comments like, “I can’t wait to make you orgasm,” or “I’m most satisfied when my partner orgasms.” While these comments show that you are eager and excited about making her climax, they also might cause some underlying stress if the female’s already insecure about her ability to produce the outcome that you are so eager to make happen. 

Also, the time it takes for a female to reach orgasm might cause stress. Many women feel self-conscious about how long it takes for them to have an orgasm. Women, it might be encouraging for you to know that research studies have revealed that the average time it takes for a woman to climax is somewhere between 14 and 20 minutes, and this is average. This means some women might take five minutes while others can take 25 minutes or more. Be confident that you are not an outlier and the time you need in order to climax is normal. You are not asking for too much. 

Tips for a Female Orgasm

Now let’s skip to the good part. What are some tips for a female orgasm? 

Learn about your own body first!

Experiment alone to find out what feels right. Once you have a good sense of what works for you, it’ll be much easier to lead your partner in the right direction. Masturbation can feel awkward at first but it’s a great way to learn about your own body. Try experimenting with different motions, up and down, diagonal, or small circular motions, and using lubricant might create a better sensation. 

Try different positions

During sex with a partner, experiment with different positions that might allow for the right type of stimulation to occur or a position that allows the female to control the speed and pressure to maximize stimulation on that right spot. 

Stimulation & Other Techniques

Another way is to try stimulating the clitoris as well as other body parts, such as the nipples, while having intercourse. Some women report experiencing orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Additionally, be open to other ways of reaching orgasm that do not include penetrative sex. Try having your partner stimulate you digitally, orally, or with the use of intimacy devices, sex toys. Experiencing female orgasm this way can be just as intimate and fulfilling and can be much more effective. Mutual masturbation is another way to enjoy orgasm with your partner. 

Intimacy Devices

Experiment with different intimacy devices that might provide the unique level of stimulation that you need. There are so many different shapes, and most provide different speeds and different levels of intensity. You might find one that really makes all the difference for you. You can try this alone or with a partner. 

Fantasy

Allow for fantasy. For some women, even though there might be the right physical stimulation, it still might take just a little more to get you there. The great thing about fantasy is that it’s all in your head and what goes on in one’s own head is your own business. If you feel like it’s preventing you from bonding with your partner, you can bring your partner into the fantasy or not. Sex is such a unique and personal experience, and exploring with different fantasies might add just that extra touch of eroticism that you need. A research study revealed that 20% of women have orgasmed just from fantasizing. 

Take your time

Allow for plenty of time. This is key. Remember, the average time it takes for a woman to orgasm is 14 to 20 minutes. Women, communicate this with your partner. If they want you to have this experience, they can dedicate some time to your pleasure. 

Tips for Partners

For men or those partnered with females, don’t assume that all women enjoy the exact same clitoral stimulation. Every woman is unique. What worked on your last female partner might not feel the same to your new partner. Do not assume that they’re going to respond the same way. Instead, try asking them during foreplay things like, “faster or slower,” “more pressure,” or “does this feel right?” It’s perfectly fine to communicate and ask in this way. You will not come across like you don’t know what you’re doing. You will instead sound like a seasoned pro that knows that the key to her satisfaction is finding out what she actually likes and doesn’t like. 

Additionally, don’t set an expectation that you will make her orgasm. Rather than making comments such as “I can’t wait to make you orgasm,” try saying something like, “I would love to make you orgasm and I can’t wait to take my time to learn what feels good for you.” This way, she knows that you’re willing to be patient and willing to learn about her. It can take some of the pressure off of her, which can make it easier for that pleasurable female orgasm to actually occur. 

Be open to allowing for the use of sex toys if that’s what she needs to experience a female clitoral orgasm. Do not take it personally. Some women will really need the right vibration, speed, or intensity that can best be provided by an intimacy device. When you are open to her true sexual needs, you are increasing the opportunity for bonding by showing her that you are committed to her pleasure as well as your own. 

Now, let’s make it happen, with more education, more communication, and less faking.

Read more about tips to overcome performance anxiety