It’s hard to believe that, just one year ago, New York City was preparing to celebrate 50 years of Pride. This year, as Pride celebrations are cancelled or taken online, that worldwide celebration that brought millions of people in the LGBTQ+ community and their allies together seems worlds away in many ways.
With the COVID-19 pandemic preventing us from gathering, Pride is certain to be very different from the celebrations we have come to expect. There will be no large crowds of people coming together to celebrate who we are and how far we have come. This is sad for so many reasons. And, while those feelings of sadness and loss are important and valid, this year also presents an opportunity to consider what Pride means to us without the parades, parties, drag shows, and crowded streets.
I hope you will join me in reflecting on how to feel proud during this unusual time and in making space for all of the emotions that come up around that.
What is pride without Pride?
The fact that Pride is a quieter event this year presents an opportunity. While most years we turn outward and celebrate with our community, this year we are invited to turn inward and reflect on what it means to be proud of who we are. Being queer is never a choice, but people in the LGBTQ+ community have made the courageous choice to embrace who they are, regardless of the stigma and discrimination that is still so prevalent today. Pride is a time to celebrate the strength it takes to embrace your true identity and to celebrate the freedom of expression that comes with it.
Read more: Get More Attuned to Gender Identity
Pride is also a time to reflect on this journey. What struggles have you had along the way? What sacrifices have you made in order to embrace your authentic identity? What have you gained in doing so? For me, as for so many others, coming out was a scary experience as I did not know how my friends and family would react. But, in the end, I have found a life and a community that aligns with who I truly am. If you have done the same thing, you are tough and that is worth celebrating.
Read more: Embracing your Authentic Self
Feeling pride (and all the other feelings)
Take a moment to connect to your sense of pride. Think about what makes you proud of yourself and your community. How do you know you are feeling proud? Are there any sensations in your body that accompany this feeling? See if you can make some space for this. Something as simple as this is a way for you to quite literally feel pride.
Of course, with all of the cancellations, a lot of other feelings can come up too. It is just as important that you make space for those feelings as well. You may feel grief over not being able to attend the events and celebrations that mean so much to you. You may feel sadness over being alone and not being able to connect with your friends and chosen family. Or you may feel gratitude for what you do still have: a thriving LGBTQ+ community, perhaps a partner or a group of good friends, the ability to connect online, and the fact that you don’t have to live in secret.
It is just as important to make space for these other emotions as it is to feel proud and to find ways to take agency over what you are feeling. If you are feeling grief or sadness, reach out to your friends and loved ones. If you are feeling gratitude, be sure to let others know that you are grateful. Emotions are not always easy, but they do create wonderful opportunities to feel a real connection with others. And this is precisely what so many of us are missing right now.
Watch our webinar: Feel. Better. Learn to Ride the Waves of Your Emotions
You can still celebrate
The Pride Parade may be canceled, but there are many ways you can still celebrate yourself and the LGBTQ+ community this month. Many Pride organizers are working hard to take the celebrations online, which presents a unique opportunity to connect with the community in new and different ways.
You can also make an extra effort to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and self-love this month. Think about ways you can show yourself some extra care within the restrictions of our current situation. Whether you order-in a special meal, have an at-home spa day, buy yourself a meaningful present, or just give yourself extra time to relax, find ways to honor yourself this month. You deserve it!
If giving back is important, there are plenty of ways to volunteer your time or donate money to a cause that you believe in. Pride is a great time for that, too.
While Pride 2020 comes at an unusual time for all of us, that doesn’t mean that we should forget about celebrating Pride altogether. The circumstances of this year offer us an opportunity to approach pride in a different and meaningful way. If you make some space to reflect on what feeling pride means to you and to connect with the LGBTQ+ community despite the current restrictions, you may just feel prouder than ever before.
If you are looking for more guidance, learn more about our LGBTQ Therapy and connect with one of our therapists.
How do you plan to celebrate Pride this year? Join the conversation in the comments below!
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2 comments
This is great! Pride is such a different experience from what we are used to this year and I love the idea of using it as an opportunity to reflect on your own relationship with pride around sexuality and identity. I plan to do exactly what you suggest in this blog to honor pride this year: think about the ways I am proud of who I am and to connect with my community in the ways that are possible. Thanks for this!
I really appreciate this post, Joe. It is interesting to reflect back now that we are in October to the summer when a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see the pride parade live surrounded by friends. This year was very different and I found that I showed my support as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community in a different way. I spent time reaching out to my loved ones who are apart of the LGBTQ+ community and celebrated virtually. I donated some money to organizations that I really love as well as did some more research into LGBTQ+ history to become more well informed. I hope that next year, we can resume showing love and support in person.