Redefine Yourself as a Woman on Your Own Terms [Transcript]
As women, we grow up being dictated on how we are supposed to think. We are constantly faced with a list of what we should and should not be doing. Anyone who walks into our lives has an opinion on what it means to be a woman.
Feeling shy, insecure, or unsure about your position in society might have come from how your parents treated you and taught you. But now, through years of experience, you have gained a better sense of yourself and can make meaningful changes.
Read more: The Importance of Saying No
Here are a few things that can help you redefine yourself:
Think about your preferences and habits and where they stem from
Think about whether it’s something you truly believe in or is it something you had to learn and internalize because others told you to do so. It can be as simple as picking out your clothes to as big as speaking at a work meeting. For example, do you get anxious when you have to stand up and speak in a work meeting? Sit with the anxiety a little and be curious about it. Are you scared to speak loudly because your parents or your culture told you not to draw attention to yourself?
Ask yourself if your old patterns are currently benefiting you
In other words, do you think your old habits and attitudes are benefiting you where you are in your life today? It’s important that you examine your belief system and see if they actually align with what you truly believe currently. Using my previous example, do you think to continue to not speak up in meetings at work benefiting you right now? Is your male colleague talking over you and getting all the credit?
Re-evaluate your current friendships and relationships
Is it time for you to get rid of a few old/toxic friendships or relationships? It’s important to assess your relationships and friendships every here and there to see whether these people are keeping you stuck in an old pattern or if they are helping you grow and feel empowered. Ask yourself, ‘are the people in my life supporting my vision?’
And now, I would like to invite you all to do a quick exercise with me. When you are ready, close your eyes and imagine your best self as an independent woman, how does she look like, where is she in her life? What does she do? Do you have an image in your head now? Try to find her strength. Where do you feel that strength in your body? Wherever it is, place your hand on that part and breathe into it. What comes up for you? How are you feeling now?
Now that you have an image of your best self and might have found your strength, you can ask yourself, “what can I do differently to become that person?” Another important question to ask is who or what is stopping you from becoming your best self?
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3 comments
This is a really important topic, so thank you for making this video! You do a great job of breaking down the kinds of pressures and constraints women have to deal with in the world and providing insightful ways to reassess and work towards a more strong and empowered identity. As a man, I think this kind of conversation is so important and that a thoughtful discussion of how people’s experiences differ based on their gender can benefit people of all genders. Thanks again!
This is a great video blog Kimia! I particularly like how you provide guidance in how to reassess and work through ways that women may internalize the pressures and expectations of society. I also think that men have a responsibility to be more aware of these pressures and expectations so that we can move forward in more positive and healthy ways. Thanks for making this video blog!
Great video blog, Kimia! The pressure society places on women is often filled with toxicity, as societal pressures can make someone feel as if they are not good enough, don’t fit in or belong. Sometimes, people adapt to negativity without realizing it and it is important to explore how that adaptive behavior is imposing on us. I appreciate the advice you offer for women to redefine themselves on their own terms. Coming from a household filled with women, I learned a long time ago that blocking a woman’s voice or determination is not a good idea. This is so insightful, Thanks!