What is Bystander Intervention?

We have all experienced a moment when we feel called to action on behalf of someone in need. When that person is a stranger on the subway, on the sidewalk, in a bar, or at the store, we might default to “minding our own business.” But what can we do when we feel someone’s safety is at risk right before our eyes? How do we act and help, without escalation of danger? We may feel especially called to act when we witness harassment, abuse, and violence motivated by hate towards race, sex, religion, color, gender, size, orientation, disability, age, or origin. In a situation that isn’t clear cut, we can rely on the framework of bystander intervention. What is bystander intervention? It is a series of techniques that allow us to assess a situation and use an effective toolbox to intervene as safely as possible.

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What is bystander intervention?

There are two forms of bystander intervention: proactive and reactive. Today we will be going over tips and techniques for reactive bystander intervention. You can use this when the harassment is about to start, is in progress, or has just happened. Bystander intervention is important because it can be even more traumatizing for survivors to experience the apathy of witnesses to their abuse.

By preparing ourselves in advance, we are engaging in proactive bystander intervention. This speaks to preventative, usually educational, methods to address forms of harassment and violence. Many colleges, workplaces and more offer bystander intervention training to help participants feel more prepared with examples of what to say or do and even chances to rehearse different scenarios from the subway to the office to the internet. Proactive bystander intervention focuses on promoting and maintaining a world where the culture of harassment, abuse and violence has no place. 

We can engage in bystander intervention in any setting we encounter harassment, abuse, or violence. Today, we will focus on situations when we see someone targeted by violence on the sidewalk, the subway or bus, while shopping, at the office, at a bar or party, in the classroom, or at the gym. Bystanders go through 5 behavioral and cognitive processes:

1. Notice the event
2. Interpret the event as an emergency
3. Register the degree of responsibility
4. Identify a form of assistance
5. Implement an action step

If you want to feel more empowered to intervene, know that educating yourself is key. Know what harassment, abuse, and violence look like so you know when bystander intervention is needed. Recognize that your willingness and readiness to help is a crucial step. It contributes to the difference between apathy and action.

Bystander intervention techniques: the 5 D’s

The 5D’s are a framework for reactive bystander intervention. The goals of the 5 D’s are to:

1. support the person targeted
2. emphasize harassment is not okay
3. show others they also have power to make communities and workplaces safer

The 5 D’s are: distract, delegate, document, delay, and direct.

Distract

Distracting is a diffusion technique that draws attention away and can encourage the harasser to lose interest. The key is to completely ignore the harasser and engage the person they are targeting in an unrelated conversation. Some examples:

“Could you tell me how to get to the Empire State Building?”

“Do you know the time?”

“I love your shoes.”

You can take it one step farther: When you show them your phone, have it open to a note that says “Do you need help?” or “We can walk away together.”

If you are unable to engage in conversation, try to draw attention to yourself in some other way. If you are at a party, loudly spill a drink or knock over a chair. At the office, maybe give a go some fake sneezes and complain loudly about seasonal allergies. On the train? Nothing will ground everyone to a halt like yelling that you saw a rat. If it feels safe, consider shifting so that you are physically between the person being harassed and the harasser.

Delegate

If possible, safely ask the person if they would like help. You could offer to call someone for them, alert a person of authority nearby, or call an appropriate first responder. Get help from someone else if possible, and use informed judgment on who you choose. Many people are not comfortable or safe with law enforcement. Sometimes, one or both people involved are having a mental health crisis. In these cases, without effective training, law enforcement may only escalate the violence. It is strongly recommended to refrain from calling a resource like 911 without an explicit request from the person targeted by harassment. Use your best judgment and know sometimes the best response available is far from ideal.

In many cases, you may want to find a person in authority. New Yorkers definitely know employees in transit, retail, or human services don’t usually have the ability to intervene. However, they may know what next steps to take. Security guards in places like stores, museums, amusement parks, schools, or universities are examples of third parties to turn to. If in a school, a teacher may be able to help. Consider connecting with other bystanders even if you are alone. It is especially useful to seek help from those who may have more power or ability in the specific circumstances.

Document

Don’t jump to documenting first unless other bystanders have gotten to the previous D’s before you. Documenting can include taking photos or a video. You may also write down details about what you are witnessing or the perpetrator such as a license plate or badge number.

If you are filming, be safe. Filming could protect you and others or it could increase risk of harm. Keep a safe distance. Film street signs or other background indicators of time, date, or place or state the date and time verbally. Film what happened: including torn clothing, evidence of violence like blood, hate speech and threats, identifying information of the perpetrators of violence like license plates or ID badges.

Do not post online or use the footage without permission. Broadcasting a moment of harassment to the public is exploitative and not helpful. When possible, offer to share the footage as documentation that could help the targeted person in whatever next steps they choose.  

Delay

If you can’t act in the moment, check in afterwards. Sometimes harassment happens too quickly to even consider the first 3 D’s. Offer empathy for what the person has experienced. Ask if they want company or any assistance you can offer. This is a great time to let them know if you have a recording and offer to share it. Remember to respect if the victim does not wish to file a report, connect with resources, or even talk to you.

Direct

Explicitly name what is happening and/or confront the harasser directly with short, simple and direct phrases:

“Your behavior is not ok. Stop.”

“Leave them alone.”

“That is disrespectful.”

“That is racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc.”

We want to try our best to resist the urge to engage, debate, or fight. Insulting, yelling, or threatening the harasser will often escalate the situation. Direct action can even be non-verbal. Sometimes the physical presence of another person is enough to encourage the harasser to move on. 

A direct response comes with the most risk, as the harassment towards the victim may escalate and/or the harasser may redirect their abuse at you instead. We must assess the physical safety of ourselves and those around us, especially the person being harassed. Are there other people around? Do I know where the nearest exit is? Is there a store open nearby? You are especially powerful to intervene if the person harassing others is your friend. Use your power to confront them directly. For example,  you can think creatively to distract or redirect when a not so sober friend wants to go to a private location with an acquaintance.

We are bystanders in many ways

The point of bystander intervention is to act directly on behalf of the person being harassed, or is vulnerable to harassment or violence. While we explored bystander intervention around situations with strangers in public, bystander intervention can happen in different ways.

We are not just bystanders on the subway or bus, grocery store, or classroom. We are also bystanders when people around us are vulnerable to sexual predators, in places like college parties and bars. We’re bystanders when a friend or loved one is in an abusive relationship and ambivalent about staying or leaving. We are also bystanders when we raise children and teach them it is wrong to target others on the basis of race, sex, religion, color, gender, size, orientation, disability, age, origin – or anything else. While reactive bystander intervention is only one way of reducing violence, it is important to know what to do, say – or not do and not say – the next time you find yourself with the power to help another.

Read more about signs of an abusive relationship

Are you struggling to navigate the complexity of the world? Therapy can help. Reach out to myTherapyNYC for a free consultation today.

Has a bystander ever intervened on your behalf? What did they do or say that helped? Join the conversation in the comments below!