Helping Loved Ones with Depression

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the emotional well-being of those around us. But when a friend is struggling with depression, being a compassionate ally can make all the difference. One in fifteen people are likely to experience depression in a given year, and about one in six people will experience depression in a lifetime. This is to say that depression is something that many people experience. It is highly likely that you will encounter a friend or loved one who may need a little help managing their depression. Here, we will define depression, identify depressive symptoms and signs of depression, and explore ways you can help your loved ones with depression. Also, we will discuss ways to encourage your loved ones to seek help and manage their symptoms. Additionally we will explore the importance of caring for ourselves while supporting others.

Understanding Depression: A Comprehensive Overview

Depression is more than just a fleeting sadness. It’s like a persistent fog that can engulf a person’s mind and soul. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), depression, also known as major depressive disorder, is a common but serious mood disorder. It affects various aspects of a person’s life, from sleeping and eating patterns to overall functioning.

Defining Depression

According to the World Health Organization, depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. A depressive episode can be clinically characterized as having a depressed mood for most of the day, daily for at least 2 weeks. Depressive symptoms can look like trouble concentrating, low self-esteem, low energy, and changes in sleep, suicidal ideation, and feelings of hopelessness.

Clinical vs. Feeling Down

It’s important to differentiate between clinical depression and the occasional moments of sadness that are a normal part of life. While many people have probably experienced some of the depression symptoms mentioned above, the difference between a depressive disorder and feeling low typically comes down to the length and severity of symptoms. If you notice that your loved one has been exhibiting symptoms of depression for more than two weeks, that could be a sign that they are experiencing depression. Another thing to note is that clinical depression often requires professional intervention, while feeling down may improve with time and self-care.

Interventions: Strategies for Effective Support

Establishing a Supportive Environment

Create a safe space where your friend can express themself without fear of judgment. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter what. Sometimes, just your presence can provide immense comfort.

Cultivating Empathy and Compassion

The foundation of being a supportive friend lies in empathy and compassion. This means truly listening without judgment, being patient, and validating your friend’s feelings. Letting your friend know that you genuinely care can manifest in a variety of ways. It might look like being a silent listener, or, it might look like letting your friend know that you sometimes feel the feelings that they feel too. We may feel the urge to fix our friend’s problems or give them advice. However, often the most effective support is just letting your friend or loved one know that you are there for them.

Encouraging Professional Help

Depression is hard to get through on your own. Therefore, it often requires professional intervention. Encourage your friend to seek help from therapists, counselors, or mental health experts. Often a simple “hey, I care about you, and I want to make sure you’re getting the right support” can open up a productive conversation where you and your loved one come together and make a plan. The person struggling with depression must be a participant in this process. That will help them feel a sense of autonomy and empowerment. Although someone may be willing to seek help, sometimes navigating the mental health system can be too daunting. Additionally, the person experiencing depression may lack the capacity to find appropriate resources for themselves. As an ally in their journey, you may be able to help provide resources or do some of the initial searches in finding resources for your loved one. 

Promoting Healthy Habits

Because physical health and mental health are closely linked, suggesting healthy lifestyle choices can make a significant difference. Encourage your friend to engage in regular exercise, maintain a balanced diet, and get adequate sleep. Inviting your friend to go on walks or inviting them over for dinner can be a great way to reduce the mental load required to initiate self-care.

Read more about helping someone with depression here.

Avoiding Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Setting Realistic Expectations

Understand that healing from depression can be a slow and non-linear process. Your loved one will not improve just from your intervention alone. Celebrate even the smallest victories and be patient with your loved one’s journey. Building healthy mental health habits takes time and consistency, so being a stable backboard is key.

Monitoring Your Well-Being

As you provide support, pay attention to your emotional well-being. If you feel overwhelmed or stressed, it’s crucial to seek help or take a step back when needed. Your friend’s recovery isn’t solely your responsibility. Creating a team of support for your friend and yourself is the best way to ensure that you don’t burn out. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Always make sure you’re caring for yourself first. Seek out your own support system and don’t hesitate to talk to a professional if you need it. Your mental health matters just as much.

Helpful Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential in supporting a friend with depression in order to avoid enabling dependence. While you might feel the urge to constantly be there for your friend, doing so may become a harmful habit. It deprives your loved one of the chance to solve their own problems, creating a precedent where you always feel you are on call. Setting boundaries may look like letting your friend know that you only have 15 minutes to talk today rather than your normal hour-long phone conversation. It could also include letting them know that you have a lot going on right now in your life and might not have as much time to spend with them as you normally do. Being clear, compassionate, and open about your reasons for setting boundaries can also be a great way for you to model self-care for your friend who is struggling.

You’re Making a Difference

By understanding depression, recognizing signs of depression, and implementing the right interventions, you can help your friend take steps toward recovery. Remember, you’re making a significant difference in their life, and your friendship is a source of strength. Together, you can navigate the challenging terrain of depression towards brighter days.

Learn more about coping with depression here.

Are you interested in exploring the elements of depression in psychotherapy? Reach out to myTherapyNYC to find out which of our therapists would be a good fit for you!

In what ways have you monitored your own well-being while supporting a loved one?  Join in the conversation in the comments below!