The right relationship can be a source of joy and deep satisfaction and can even help you live a longer and healthier life. So when things don’t work out, it can leave a person hurt, depressed and afraid to try again. It’s important to take care of those feelings to be able to feel safe enough to take chances in new relationships. Three ways to work through some of those feelings:
- Do you. Try reconnecting to a passion or start a new one, get back to the gym or pick up that good book you were reading. When a romance ends, it’s a good time to reconnect to your most vital connection – your relationship to you.
- Acknowledge how you feel. Any ending can feel like a loss, and losses involve a variety of feelings, from denial to anger to finally acceptance. Although you may want to avoid how you feel, it won’t be helpful in the long run. Let yourself feel those feelings because they usually don’t last. And don’t keep them to yourself. Instead –
- Use your support network. Talk to friends, keep a journal to write down your experiences or work with a therapist. It helps to get your thoughts out so you’re not in your head and you can get feedback that what you’re feeling is normal. Do what you need to remind yourself you’re a good person who deserves a good relationship.
After a painful breakup, it’s common to build walls to avoid getting hurt. However, if you can’t open up you also might miss out on finding what you want. Losing a relationship doesn’t mean you won’t find love again. Heal the pain that you feel and use your experiences to grow.
Psychotherapist who offers individual and couples counseling in NYC.
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