Handling Microaggressions: When You See Something, Say Something

women fighting microaggressions

If we notice someone in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation, we all like to think that we will step in. However, it is difficult for that to even be possible when we cannot recognize that the situation unfolding in front of us is not okay. An example is when subtle forms of discrimination, known as microaggressions, occur. In this blog, I will discuss why inaction is typical, ways to identify microaggressions, and various microinterventions one could choose from to prevent being a bystander and better handle microaggressions. Microaggressions might be “micro” in how they unfold, but could be “macro” in their impact. Therefore, it is essential to know how to handle them when they emerge in various social interactions.

Why is Inaction Typical?

When looking at society, it is evident that awareness and understanding of overt forms of oppression, such as racism and homophobia, have significantly increased throughout the years. This increase in awareness has led to the creation of laws, policies, and social norms that highlight the immorality of overt forms of oppression. However, the implicit biases that flourish in the unconscious part of our minds are much more challenging to identify and condemn. These invisible seeds of bias lead to subtle behaviors that cause a type of harm that could sometimes be difficult to acknowledge, which is why witnesses of microaggressions typically become bystanders.

Read more to understand implicit bias.

What is a Microaggression?

The first step to preventing becoming a bystander is to understand microaggressions. Dr. Derald Wing Sue defines microaggressions as “verbal and nonverbal interpersonal exchanges in which a perpetrator causes harm to a target, whether intended or unintended.”  

I want to share a personal example of a microaggression where the perpetrator unintended the harm. I identify as an Afro-Latina and have curly hair. A couple of summers ago, a White lady came up to me and started touching my hair without my consent. She said she had never seen hair like mine but that she liked my hair. I remember being taken back and having an internal battle because, although I felt uncomfortable, it seemed like she meant to compliment me. I felt uncomfortable because what she said and the way she looked at me made me feel like we were in a circus, and my hair was the primary source of entertainment, which had a dehumanizing effect.  

A personal example of a microaggression where the harm was intentional was years ago when my girlfriend at the time and I were holding hands while walking around a bookstore. We were looking at books when suddenly a lady looked at our intertwined hands and asked sternly, “Do your parents know what you are doing?” Her comment was subtle but filled with heavy homophobic connotations. There were people around us, yet no one said anything.  I wish someone had said something.

Read more about what a microaggression is.

learning what is a microaggression

What Are Microinterventions?

Beyond being able to identify when a microaggression is taking place, it is essential also to know how to intervene.  Dr. Derald Wing Sue defines microinterventions  as “the everyday words or deeds, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate to targets of microaggressions validation of their experiential reality, value as a person, affirmation of their racial or identify group, support and encouragement, and reassurance that they are not alone.”

Try to Make the “Invisible” Visible

Making the subtle messages intertwined in microaggressions explicit could be a perfect way to be an ally. Active allies could ask clarifying questions or make statements that cause the perpetrator to think about what they said or did. In the personal hair example that I gave above, a way to highlight the racial bias undertones of the microaggression could have been if someone had stated, “I would have felt uncomfortable if you touched my hair like that.” This intervention would have helped me, the target, feel validated in my emotional experience and hopefully encouraged the perpetrator to pause and rethink their actions.

Disarm the Microaggression

Expressing disagreement verbally or through body language could be another way to prevent being a bystander. In the bookstore example I provided above, ways to disarm the microaggression could have been if someone had frowned in disapproval and/or said, “I do not think that anything is going on here that grants parents being alerted. You two are a cute couple.” This intervention would have probably made me smile and helped me feel seen. The perpetrator in this situation would notice that everyone picked up on their subtle homophobic messages and that no one agreed with what they said.

Educate the Perpetrator

Sometimes, people unintentionally engage in microaggression because of a lack of knowledge, and therefore, education on racial bias could be an intervention that benefits both the perpetrator and the target. In the hair example, someone could have said, “Maybe you did not grow up in a diverse area, but curly hair is a beautiful and common hair texture. Also, touching a person’s hair, regardless of its texture, without permission, is not okay.”

Seek External Intervention

Sometimes, it could be too scary or dangerous to directly intervene in situations where microaggressions are taking place, and in these situations, seeking external support could be ideal. In the bookstore example, an active ally could have alerted one of the bookstore employees of the incident, and maybe that employee would have asked the perpetrator to leave the bookstore, which would have made me, the target, feel safer.

Strive to be an Ally Not a Bystander

The world has changed in various positive ways, but forms of oppression and racial bias are still prevalent in today’s society; they have just taken more subtle forms. However, regardless of how subtle microaggressions are in nature, their impact could be just as hurtful as explicit forms of discrimination. Targets are deeply impacted and cannot always stand up for themselves or, in the moment, have the capacity to recognize that they have just experienced a microaggression. For this reason, it is essential to know what microaggression is and how to combat it so that if you ever witness one, you can swiftly and safely stand up for someone in need of support.

 


Curious about exploring racial bias in therapy? Reach out to myTherapyNYC to find out which of our therapists would be a good fit for you!


How have you responded when witnessing a microaggression? Join the conversation in the comments below!

Bonelyn De Los Santos
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