The Difference Between External and Internal Validation [Video]

External and Internal Validation

The Difference Between External and Internal Validation [Transcript]

What is validation? Validation is the confirmation or affirmation that someone’s feelings are valid or worthwhile. There are two types of validation: external and internal validation.

External Validation

This type of validation comes from others validating your individual feelings. It can take on many forms, such as Instagram likes, compliments, and sexual validation from others meaning they find you desirable. The problem with external validation is that it can be incredibly fleeting because one or two likes on social media feel good, 10 more feels better, however soon that feeling wears off. It is the same with sexual validation, where the experience is good, but the person can be left feeling insecure.

Read More: 4 Strategies For Overcoming Rejection

Internal Validation

The other form of validation is internal validation, which can be harder to practice. Internal validation is the validation of one’s own feelings or non-judgment of one’s feelings. If you are feeling down or feeling like you want to blame yourself over a situation, internal validation is allowing yourself to not have so much judgment on yourself for having these feelings. Being internally validated is helpful for when a situation arises and things aren’t necessarily going your way, and instead of blaming yourself or getting frustrated, you accept the situation and you internally say to yourself ‘you know there is nothing I can do here’ or ‘ I did the best I could and next time I’ll do better’.

Read More: Practice Self-Love: 5 Ways!

External Validation and Internal Validation Combined

External Validation isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s should be combined with internal validation. We need both to be healthy. Solely relying on external validation could be a really tricky process of chasing other people to validate ourselves, when in practice we should like that validation from others. We should also internally let ourselves know that our feelings are worthwhile.

Read More: Make Friends With Your Feelings

So these are the differences between internal and external validation. While both are good, internal is something that we should always practice more, and external is something we should all rely on it a little less.

Please share your comments below!

Ryan Jacobs, LCSW - NYC Therapist

7 comments

  1. Love this Vlog! It’s really important to know the difference between the types of validation we seek everyday.

  2. Great video blog! This is such a good reminder of the importance of practicing internal validation, especially in this day and age when it’s so easy to forget that our value as a person is not dependent on how many “likes” we get

  3. Great video blog Ryan thanks! It’s important in a time where many aren’t in touch or experience much internal validation.

  4. Hi Ryan,

    Great points here. I appreciate the way to break down how to build up internal validation. It’s a difficult idea to teach and you gave great examples! Well done!

  5. Great video blog, Ryan! You are right, external validation is extremely short lived. Unfortunately many people rely on it especially in terms of social media. I like your emphasis on internal validation, as this is something that no one can give you or take away.

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