The Importance of Chosen Family in the LGBTQ Community [Transcript]
We often hear about the idea of a chosen family, especially at the end of the year and around the holidays. Today, I’m going to be talking about the importance of a chosen family specifically within the LGBTQ community.
What is a chosen family?
First, what is a chosen family? According to the Sage Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family and Couples Counseling, chosen families are “non-biological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.” The most important element is that it is deliberately chosen. Individuals are proactively seeking and choosing the people whom they want in this group. It is also for the purpose of mutual support and love. Ideally, from a family, we receive support, love, respect, and a bond with each other. That’s what a chosen family would also provide.
Why is this important to the LGBTQ+ community?
While everyone could benefit from a chosen family, why is this particularly important to the LGBTQ+ community? It’s because of the rejection and ostracization that those within the LGBTQ+ community can often experience. According to a study cited by GLAD, 39% of queer adults have faced rejection from their birth families. If you don’t have your birth family, it’s particularly important to have a chosen family. Additionally, 40% of homeless youth are a part of the LGBTQ community. If we think about what our families can provide, especially when we are young, it’s safety, security, and stability. So it’s so important for us to have that family unit.
What about the biological family?
If you have a chosen family, does it mean that you don’t have a relationship with your biological family? Absolutely not. People have varying degrees of “outness” and varying degrees of acceptance with their birth families. This can lead to people being able to rely on their birth families in different ways and for different things. This, in turn, makes it particularly important to have a group where you can fully be yourself, where you can fully be out, where you can have that experience of love, support, respect, and bond that you ideally would have with your birth family. There may be some overlap; just because you have a chosen family doesn’t mean that you don’t get those things from your birth family. It’s like an additional family, so it’s a win-win.
Read more about LGBTQ family building
How do you find yours?
Finally, what are ways to find your chosen family? It can be difficult to find these people. Again, the composition of this group is a choice that you have. It’s the proactive seeking of people for that support, bond, and love. One way to find those people is through a partner. Alternatively, there are clubs you can get involved in: organizations, support groups, mentor groups, or group therapy. There are a variety of different ways to meet other LGBTQ people and then form closer bonds with them. Ultimately, you will find people that you want to deepen that relationship with and will really consider to be your chosen family.
Do you want to explore how a chosen family could support you? You may want to consider starting individual therapy. Click here to learn more!
How did you build your chosen family? Leave your comments below!
- The Importance of Chosen Family in the LGBTQ Community [Video] - December 22, 2022
- How Apps Have Changed LGBTQ+ Dating - June 2, 2022
2 comments
Hi Andrew,
This video blog was insightful. Thank you for sharing ways people can find a chosen family. I think it could be empowering for people (especially folks in the LGBTQ community) to know how they can establish and expand their network to create their own chosen family.
Andrew, some of the statistics you shared about LGBTQ+ youth were jarring, which highlights why a chosen family and additional support can be so vital for someone. I know many will be touched by how you shared the importance of chosen family in this video blog.