Every child benefits from a loving home in deeply profound ways. Adoption has made this permanently possible for hundreds of thousands of children worldwide. When children cannot remain with a relative, and new parents within their communities cannot be found, adoption opens another pathway to children to receive the care, security and love that only a permanent family can provide.
Much of what people know about adoption comes from the media or our experience with adopted kids growing up. So is it any wonder that so many adoption myths are still believed as fact? Becoming educated about adoption will help you be equipped to separate adoption facts from fiction.
Myth: There are no healthy infants available for adoption in the U.S.
The Truth: There are many families each year that adopt healthy, newborn babies through adoption. More adopted and biological children are diagnosed with medical conditions every year. Part of this is due to a more sophisticated medical system. Many of them are through open adoption, where the biological mother, often called the birth mother, may have chosen the (adoptive) parents herself. Domestic adoption is a very viable option for families who need help building their families.
Myth: It takes years to complete an adoption.
The Truth: A 2012 poll in Adoptive Families Magazine revealed that many families are able to complete their adoption in about one-two years. When working with an attorney, it can be even faster but applicants should give themselves up to two years. I’ve had clients wait two months for a referral and three years for one. In international adoption, the wait is generally longer and should be competed with the help of a licensed and approved adoption agency.
Myth: Only traditional families can adopt.
The Truth: Many gay couples and single individuals are building families through adoption. Choices may be a bit restricted, especially with international adoption rules established by each individual country. Be sure to find an adoption professional who has experience and success with these cases.
Myth: Birth mothers are typically teens.
The Truth: Birthmothers are all ages, many are already parenting other children. They are typically struggling financially. They are choosing adoption thoughtfully and because they want a better life for their child. They often play an active role in the adoption plan.
Myth: Infants available for adoption in the U.S. are all drug-exposed.
The Truth: Most women considering adoption for their children are using drugs- not necissarily true. Many use and many do not. Some may, but the majority of them are doing what they can to have a healthy pregnancy. Some are even seeking ongoing prenatal care. Those who get prenatal care, generally do so because the (adoptive) parents they chose to raise their child, insists upon it. Many birth parents are choosing adoption because they care about their child.
Myth: Telling a child s/he is adopted should happen when the child can understand what adoption is.
The Truth: Teaching a child about the special way s/he came into your family is a process that is best when started at birth (that way you have years to practice!). Waiting until the child is older can be shocking and unsettling. S/he may wonder what else you are not sharing and may cause the child to feel unnecessary guilt or shame. There are many beautiful, age-appropriate books to help you explain adoption to your child.
- An Adoption Story Ahead of Its Time - May 27, 2014
- Adoption: Myths & Facts - April 7, 2014
