Refresh Your Relationship by Renegotiating It [Transcript]
Today I’m here to talk to you about refreshing your relationship by renegotiating it. We all grow and change. With that being said, it’s normal to grow and change while being in a relationship. There’s this unspoken belief that people should remain the same as they were in the beginning of a relationship. It’s not true. It lacks the motivation to change and it lacks the ability to evolve with your partner in a relationship.
So I wrote down four things that I think will help you and your partner refresh your relationship by renegotiating it.
#1 It’s normal to renegotiate your relationship.
Instead of giving up on your partner, ask them what they like about it, what they don’t like about it. What do they need more of, what are they not getting?
#2 What worked a few years ago may not work now.
At the beginning of a relationship, there’s somewhat of a learning curve. You’re learning your partner’s limitations, you’re learning what to expect from them, what not to expect from them. Some people find themselves in a standoff in their relationship, waiting for their partner to change. This can lead to resentment and a bad ending of a relationship.
Read more: 3 Skills for Validating Your Partner’s Feelings
#3 As a couple evolves, so does their relationship.
Explore what’s lacking. As we get older our needs change and when our needs change our desires change.
Read more: 6 Ways to Master Mindful Communication
#4 Do not be afraid to ask for what you want.
Your partner is not a mind reader. If you want something to change you have to talk about it. It’s okay to have a conversion about your relationship and express what you like and what you don’t like. Remember, you are not locked into any terms of your relationship; they can always be negotiated.
Watch: Understanding Wants and Needs in a Relationship
Every relationship is unique in its own right. I’m sure that you may have some of your own suggestions on how to refresh your relationship by renegotiating it. Join the conversation and comment on the blog. In fact, you can also check out all our other blogs and webinars on our website at mytherapynyc.com. Thanks for watching this video blog, have a great day.
Remember, you can always use couples therapy as a tool to create a safe space to discuss and renegotiate your relationship.
What are some other suggestions that you think can refresh relationships by renegotiating?
- What is Relational Therapy? - September 15, 2022
- How to Fix a Relationship - September 3, 2022
- What Are the Six Stages of Grief? - June 3, 2022
4 comments
Great video, James! All relationships require renegotiation sometimes, but a lot of us are afraid that this could mean that something is wrong. You do a great job of normalizing this experience and providing tips on how to navigate these conversations. I think finding new activities to do together is also a great “renegotiation” strategy, because it gives you new experiences!
I love this, James. I love the idea of renegotiating my relationship. Your blog makes it really clear that we have the power, by following simple steps, to create and recreate our relationships as we learn, grow and change throughout our lives. Absolutely beginning to implement this tonight!
I really love this post for so many different reasons. The first and most important being it seems that when we get into a routine within our relationship, it’s easy to forget that we can and should ask for what we want. As individuals, we are constantly learning and growing; this is something that should also be reflected within our relationship with our partner. This post is so inspiring because it touches on all the points that highlight the importance of this. Personally, I find that the constant conversation I have with my husband, whether it be about deep emotional topics or trivial day to day things, we keep a constant understanding of each other’s needs/wants/desires in real time. No topic is too small or too trivial to touch on with your partner. This allows us the space to renegotiate our relationship constantly in small or large ways. Thanks for facilitating such a great conversation about this James!
James,
I really appreciate your video, and could relate to the points you’ve made. In my own relationship, I can say that allowing space for the evolution of it and working through the anxiety of asking for what we need has maintained it’s longevity. We we’ve gotten stuck, I’ve noticed the need to allow space to listen and perhaps renegotiate at times is important. I will recommend it to my clients, too.