Find this video helpful?
We would love for you to pass it along!
Email | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | LinkedIn
Ask a Therapist: Dealing with Family During the Holidays [Transcript]
How do I deal with getting annoyed or frustrated with family members?
My first thought about this is to validate this for yourself. It makes a lot of sense that you may feel frustrated or annoyed with family members. Family are people that we don’t necessarily choose to have in our lives. We have a long and complicated history with our family members and often times during the holidays, you may spend more time with them than you are used to. If you are having feelings of guilt come up around feeling that frustration or annoyance, I would suggest just saying to yourself, “It makes sense that I feel this way”. Maybe taking a little break, perhaps a walk around the block; give yourself a little time to cool down. Another thing you can consider doing is setting boundaries with family members. If there are specific topics that you do not walk to talk about; whether that’s politics, your dating life or career, you can let them know that you are not up for those types of conversations. Then, try to think about things you do like sharing with your family members. This could be reminiscing about the past or talking about other family members that you do like. Keep the focus on things that are going to stay a little more positive and keep you away from those feelings of frustration.
Being with my family all day can be overwhelming for me, how do I manage the stress of constant interaction?
Even for those who really enjoy hanging out with their family and have great relationships, there is something to the amount of time that we tend to spend with our families during this time of year. I think that this can be draining for anybody. Apart from the obvious stress and emotion that comes up with family, one of the reasons why I think that it can be so exhausting is because it is such a disruption from the way that we ordinarily spend our time. I am thinking in particular for those who head home for the holidays who might even sleep in their childhood bedrooms, in their childhood bed. This can obviously have the effect of making you feel like a child. It can be really unsettling especially when you feel pulled back into behaviors, dynamics that you don’t normally deal with on a day to day basis. If this sounds like you, then what I would recommend is really allowing yourself space for breaks. Do something in those breaks that remind you of your day to day self even if that’s just taking a moment and stepping out to get yourself some lunch. Whatever you can do to remind yourself that you are yourself will make you a lot more present when you are with your family.
Read more: ‘Tis the Season for Setting Boundaries
My partner and I are disagreeing on which side of the family we should be spending the holidays with. How do we decide?
My partner and I are disagreeing on which side of the family we should be spending the holidays with. How do we decide? This is always difficult. We are stuck between past traditions, what our family expects of us and now what our partner expects of us. The first thing to do would be to talk with your partner and decide what makes sense for you and your relationship. If you find the phrase “should be” lurks its way into the conversation, take a step back and ask yourself, “Does this make sense for my present?”. It is never too late to start a new tradition that incorporates what you value along with what’s best for you and your partner.
- Expressive Arts Therapy Event [Video] - January 20, 2023
- Exploring Different Therapeutic Treatment Modalities [Video] - December 8, 2022
- What is the Difference Between Couples Therapy and Mediation? [Video] - August 29, 2022
1 comment
Awesome video blog! Gathering with family during the holiday season can be a challenge. This blog offers great advice in coping with those challenges. Great job, thanks for posting!