When it comes to sex and intimacy, each person is unique in terms of what their turn-ons are or what gives them pleasure. From the help of The Erotic Blueprint, individuals or couples can get a better sense of who they are as sexual beings, with a framework similar to the personality types and the love languages. The Erotic Blueprint is a framework developed by an award-winning Somatic Sexologist Jayia, who spent two decades doing clinical research on this topic. This research led her to discover this revolutionary guide that gives everyone a path to unlocking life-giving pleasure and orgasmic fulfillment. The Erotic Blueprint has the potential to elevate anyone’s sex life by helping to reduce people pleasing tendencies in the bedroom, encouraging sexual empowerment and boosting self-esteem.
We Are Who We Are
There are two frameworks that explain how a guide like The Erotic Blueprint helps us better understand our unique desires. The first is the example of the Myers-Briggs personality types. It helps people understand how specific personality types think and behave uniquely from one another. Utilizing this can help determine individual differences in communication styles, conflict resolution, stress management, and a variety of other domains. These factors are important to understand within yourself or partner to help you work effectively together.
The other framework is the idea of the 5 love languages, which includes physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving. Individuals may have differences in the way in which they like to give and receive love. Having a better understanding of these frameworks allows individuals to be more attuned to their own needs and those of a potential partner. Both of these frameworks have similar themes to The Erotic Blueprint.
Ways Erotic Blueprints Will Improve Your Sex Life
By now, you’re probably wondering what these blueprints are and how to incorporate that knowledge into your sex lives. The Erotic Blueprint is divided similarly to the love languages into 5 different types: energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter. Each of these categories has different turn-ons, toy preferences and opportunities for exploration on an individual level or with a partner. Online you can discover your Erotic Blueprint for free, or if you prefer a more in-depth analysis, you can pay for a personalized 28-page report. Also, if you want to see Jaiya using the framework in practice with real couples, there’s a Netflix special called Sex, Love & Goop.
1. Less likely to people please
Oftentimes during sexual encounters, individuals are not sure what their turn-ons are or what gives them pleasure. They rely on what a partner wants or what they have seen from porn. The Erotic Blueprint helps make an individual’s sexual experiences unique to them and their desires. It provides them with valuable insights that they might not have discovered on their own. People pleasing during sex can look like doing a position because you know your partner likes it. You might be curious about a new position you read about online, or maybe you’re always the dominant partner and are curious about being submissive, but don’t know where to start. Utilizing The Erotic Blueprint helps give individuals the language to get curious and to talk more in depth about desires and fantasies.
2. Sexual empowerment
Growing up, a lot of individuals are taught that sex is a taboo act or topic to engage with. This skews their perception of sex and what is considered appropriate. The Erotic Blueprint helps to normalize conversations about sexual desires. It empowers individuals to explore that in a way that feels good to them despite what they have been taught. Oftentimes there can be a lot of fear or shame associated with sex. It can be difficult to work through those feelings. Having a framework like this to reference can be very comforting. It helps people realize they are not alone in what they are thinking or feeling. It is okay to explore that side of yourself.
3. Increase self-esteem
When an individual is growing up and receives negative messages about sex it can alter their perception of themselves when they start becoming more curious about sex as they get older. An individual may think their curiosities are deviant or dirty and something they should not be thinking about or doing. Those messages can become internalized to who they see themselves as a person. They may feel they’re inherently bad for wanting to explore that. The Erotic Blueprint can help change the way a person experiences themself. They can finally feel validated in their desires and secure to freely explore and express those parts of themselves.
Communication: The Three T’s
You can use this framework for your relationship with yourself or within your relationship with a partner. The Erotic Blueprint can help you become more insightful into who you are as a sexual being. Despite all this, knowing your blueprint and communicating your blueprint are two separate parts. Conversations around sex and sexual desires can be uncomfortable, but keeping these things in mind can help with any awkwardness. Emily Morse from the popular podcast Sex with Emily attributes three key things to keep in mind when having these conversations with your partner: timing, tone and turf. Having the right timing, mindset and setting can make a very vulnerable conversation feel easier and safer.
Read more about improving sex communication.
For so long, talking about sex has been seen as something taboo or something that simply does not happen. Women like Jaiya and Emily Morse are working to change the way we have conversations about sex and sexual desire. By reducing people pleasing tendencies in the bedroom, encouraging sexual empowerment, and boosting self-esteem it allows space for better sex to blossom and flourish. Having the right educational frameworks such as personality types, love languages, communication skills, and The Erotic Blueprint helps to cultivate a more comprehensive picture of an individual and their unique turn-ons.
Curious about exploring the erotic blueprint in therapy? Reach out to myTherapyNYC to find out which of our therapists would be a good fit for you!
What is your erotic blueprint and how will you use it? Join the conversation in the comments below!
- 3 Ways the Erotic Blueprint Will Improve Your Sex Life - March 20, 2025
