In this video, psychotherapist Rian Bodner explores the concept of creating a positive relationship with your negative mind through a practice called “The Art of Assuming Love.” The sympathetic nervous system wires our brains with a negativity bias—activating our built-in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to protect us.This often leads us to misinterpret others’ actions, especially in emotionally charged situations, and default to worst-case assumptions. It is important to understand this tendency without judgment, recognizing it as an attempt by our mind to keep us safe, and then consciously choosing to introduce positive, alternative narratives.
Rian then walks us through a calming visualization exercise aimed at shifting perspective. The exercise invites you to imagine someone you’ve had a minor conflict with as physically distant but still trying—albeit imperfectly—to express love. This practice, rooted in compassion and mindfulness, helps engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which supports empathy, reasoning, and emotional regulation. By assuming love even when it’s hard to see, we can open space for more understanding, reduce defensiveness, and foster deeper connection with others and with ourselves.
Do you want to build a positive relationship with your mind through therapy? Reach out to myTherapyNYC to find out which of our therapists would be a good fit for you!
How have you been able to assume love? Join the conversation in the comments below!
Specializes in anxiety, depression, LGBTQIA+ and Self-Esteem.
2 comments
Such an enjoyable and effective exercise embedded in this blog. Very cool!
Very beautiful ways to cope and bring positivity into the day! I appreciate your videos