Managing Grief in the Workplace

Managing Grief in the Workplace [Transcript]

When experiencing grief in the workplace, it can be tough to make room for the painful emotions that we might feel. With all of the demands of work (meetings, deadlines, emails to write), it can often even feel like emotions are getting in the way of your productivity. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to make room for the feelings that accompany a loss. Some of these things can be done by yourself and some require support from others. Read more to learn ways to manage grief in the workplace.

Tip #1: Schedule your grief

One thing that I strongly recommend doing is to schedule your grief. The sounds like kind of a strange idea, so let me explain. Oftentimes, when we are sitting in a meeting or trying to draft an email, these emotions will come up unexpectedly. We may be feeling overwhelming sadness, overwhelming anger, or even gratitude or joy. These feelings can sometimes make it difficult for us to focus on our work. And that’s okay. One thing that can help is to set aside time to feel whatever it is that we need to feel. Whether that’s 5 minutes or 15 minutes, you can do that. That could be before work, during lunch, or even before a meeting.

Feel free to just step aside and say, “Okay, I’m going to take five minutes, and whatever I’m feeling right now is okay.” You can go into the bathroom or sit in your car, and do whatever feels right. You can cry, make angry faces in the mirror, laugh, or reminisce fondly about your loved one.

Tip #2: Keep objects on your desk to remind you of loved ones

Another thing that you can do is to set some sort of reminder on your desk that can be a picture or other memento that reminds you of your loved one, that helps you to feel more connected. For example, I have a desk calendar with pictures of my cat on it and that can be really helpful for me when I am having a tough day to look over at these pictures of my cat and say, “Wow, I really love this feline and I’m doing a lot because of this love that I have for her. And there’s so much strength that I get from that love.”

Read more: 5 Ways for Coping with Grief and Loss

Tip #3: Breathe through feelings of grief

Another thing that you can do to manage grief in the workplace is to focus on breathing, especially when you’re overwhelmed. Remember how I mentioned that sometimes these emotions that come up can be somewhat unexpected? If you’re in a meeting, these emotions might come up, and it’s not the most appropriate time to burst into tears. So you can say, “Okay, in a half hour, I’m going to have my scheduled grief time, but right now I just need to take a deep breath and let those feelings pass.” It’s okay to take 30 seconds in a meeting to tune out whatever’s going on. Hopefully you’re not in the spotlight, but if you are, then just subtly take a deep breath. It’s okay to pause in the middle of a presentation.

Tip #4: Seek support from others, including your boss and coworkers

One thing that I strongly encourage is to reach out to your boss and coworkers. You can say, “Hey, I’m really dealing with this tough loss. If you see things that might be a little bit strange, that’s probably what’s going on.” You don’t need to go into graphic details. You don’t need to talk about even necessarily who you lost or what you’re feeling about it. You can just say, “Hey, I suffered a significant loss recently and it’s going to take me some time to be back up to full capacity.” That can be really helpful to just give them a heads up.

In addition to giving them a heads up, it also can give you permission to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, and your coworkers or your boss can support you. They can say, “Okay, well maybe we can change some deadlines or get you additional support for a project.” Or if you’re really behind on something, that’s okay. People will often be understanding and will help you through managing the conflicts that can arise between your emotions and your work responsibilities.

Tip #5: Find support through social media or other online sources

In addition to getting support in the workplace there’s also things like social media that can help you find support. Social media often gets a bad rap for being distracting. However, when it comes to grief support, social media is excellent. It can connect to you to online grief support groups and other loved ones who care about you or care about the person that you lost. You can reach out to them to get support from people outside of the workplace.

Tip #6: Join a grief support group

On top of that there are formal grief support groups that you can join. These groups are often time limited. They will run from anywhere from six weeks to a year, sometimes longer. There are some long-term groups, but you can find a group that fits your needs and fits the particular loss that you may be experiencing. There are groups for widows, for people who have lost pets, or people who have gone through a traumatic breakup. Groups can help you normalize feelings that you’re experiencing so you can receive additional support when emotions become overwhelming.

Read more: Survive with Self-Soothing; Thrive with Self-Care

Tip #7: Reach out to a therapist

On top of all of this it can be really helpful to reach out to a therapist. If you find that these emotions are not just making it difficult to work, but that you are unable to work, it can be really helpful to reach out to a trained professional. Many of the therapists at myTherapyNYC are trained to help you work through any sort of grief response that you may be having.

Above all, I want you to know that everything will be okay. It may not always be easy, but everything will be okay. A good friend of mine once told me that her mantra is, “I will survive this” and that is something that I tell a lot of my own clients who are dealing with grief. No matter what loss you might have suffered. It’s tough and it will be painful, and also you will survive it. Being able to just remember that, no matter the loss, can bring a lot of relief.

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Want to learn more? Register for Taylor’s FREE webinar Good Mourning: How to Move Through the Grieving Process. Click below to register!

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What are your tips for managing grief in the workplace? Share in the comments below!