Forgiveness is a choice. It is a choice to let go of the shame and blame game. Forgiveness is not condoning what the other person has done, but refusing to allow it to have a negative influence on your experience in the present moment. We cannot go back and change the past, but we can stop allowing the past to affect us in this moment. By staying stuck the past you keep yourself from living freely in the natural and healthy flow of life.
Forgiveness is an action step that requires practice. Here are seven steps to help you forgive:
- Acknowledge that there is something to forgive, either in yourself or some one else.
- Identify the thoughts and feelings that are causing the upset. The anger, hurt and upset can be transformed and released once it is felt and processed.
- Take out a pen and piece of paper. Write out your forgiveness. “I completely and wholeheartedly forgive ________ (name of person) for _________ (list of perceived offenses). List it all and get it out. Remember that you may be on your list.
- Now read the list out loud and then take a match to the paper and burn it over the sink. This allows the energy to be transformed. (Please be careful not to hurt yourself or start a fire.)
- Create an affirmation and read aloud in the mirror “ I completely and wholeheartedly forgive __________ (person’s name). I refuse to ingest any more toxic energy. I refuse to feel those feelings anymore. I chose to release myself from the past and forgive as a form of self-protection. I am grateful for knowing that I am free and so it is.”
- Remember that we are all people doing the best that we can with what we know and have been taught. We each have moments when we are selfish and act inappropriately. By having compassion for yourself and others, we open up our heart. We allow the space for forgiveness and healing to happen.
- Embrace forgiveness by taking responsibility for your actions. If there is someone whom you want to apologize to, go do it. By making amends, you keep your energy clean. It allows forgiveness to become a practice in your life that allows for a joyful state of mind.
These steps will allow for you to live a more vibrant, healthy and loving life. You are the creator of your experience. You deserve to live a life free from the toxic energy of the past. It is a practice that happens daily. Be gentle with yourself. When your heart is free of the past hurt, anger and resentment, it is open to be filled with all that is wonderful and joyous.
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