The Difference Between Guilt and Shame [Transcript]
In this blog, we will discuss the differences between guilt and shame. You may ask yourself why this distinction is important and it is, because knowing the difference can help you to manage the feelings that come up for you.
One of the main differences between guilt and shame is that guilt tends to focus on the behavior (“I made a mistake”). Shame, on the other hand, stems from a negative core belief about oneself and typically focuses on the person (“I am a mistake”).
One of the other main differences between guilt and shame is how you manage them. Guilt tends to leave the door open for apologies, conversations, and repair attempts, and so the way you manage guilt is by having those conversations and working towards course correction.
With shame, it is more difficult. Because it stems from a core belief about oneself and you want to explore what that core belief is. A question you can ask yourself is: what message are you relaying to yourself that you are believing to be a fact? It could be something like “I’m not good enough.” The work will revolve around deconstructing that core belief by learning where it came from and what informed it in an effort to deconstruct it and create a new, more loving core belief about yourself.
How do you manage feelings of guilt or shame? Leave your answer in the comments below!
- How to Use Dating Apps in a Healthy Way [Video] - July 20, 2018
- Modern Dating and the Risk of Getting Ghosted - June 15, 2018
- What is Microaggression? And How to Avoid It! - April 6, 2018
6 comments
I think it’s such an important distinction to make between shame and guilt so thank you for starting this conversation, Omar. It’m can take a lot of work to deconstruct ones core beliefs but it definitely pays off once you get a better understanding of why you’re feeling the way you are. It’s really the only way to combat shame! Great video blog!
Great video! It is so important to know that there is a difference between feeling bad about an action and feeling bad about yourself. Changing negative thoughts and core beliefs is a great way to establish better and more positive thought patterns.
Learning about the distinction between shame and guilt was a game-changer for me. Thank you Omar for the refresher!
Wonderful video, Omar! Shame is such an important and difficult concept to unpack— and this work is a necessary part of any meaningful therapy.
Thank you for a great segment on guilt and shame! Knowing there are tools to unpack and explore central core negative statements is very empowering for working with others. This clarification is pivatol. Thanks!
Great information! I really support your thoughts on how to manage the feelings of shame, as this feeling will often be internalized as negative thoughts about yourself. It is important to have ways to manage things that are often confusing and embarrassing. Nice job Omar!