3 Things to Avoid on a First Date

Things to Avoid on a First Date

Going on a first date can be nerve racking. There are so many questions that can lead to anxiety. What to wear? Where to go? How do you split the bill? With so many unanswered questions dates can take an awkward turn that can end a new relationship dead in its tracks.

Here are three things to avoid on a first date to ensure it stays about what’s really important – exploring a new connection:

1. Don’t Show Poor Manners

You only get one chance to make that first impression. You don’t want something like cursing too much or being on your phone to put your prospective partner off. Be mindful of the language you are using and where your attention is focused. Allow your date time to talk and feel heard. Leave your phone in your bag and lastly don’t forget – always be polite to the waiter.

2. Don’t Bring Up Your Ex

We all have ex partners and old relationships. That does not mean they should be a topic of conversation when first meeting someone. Bringing up your ex or comparing the person in front of you to someone you have already dated is off putting. It demonstrates to your date that you might not have moved on from that person. You can’t start a new chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the old one.

3. Don’t Leave It To Chance

So the date has gone well and you’re excited to see the other person again, Be specific with an idea, location and/or time. Not doing so puts things in a grey area your new potential relationship may never recover from. We all lead busy lives. Putting plans in the lets-play-it-by-ear category often means they get pushed to the side. Days become weeks and opportunities are missed. If you are feeling a connection make specific plans to explore it.

Hopefully, these tips can help alleviate some of those pre- and post-date butterflies and set you on a course to a second date and beyond!

Watch our Webinar: Nailed It! Tips for a First Date! 

Ryan Jacobs, LCSW - NYC Therapist

4 comments

  1. Great tips! I particularly like the last one – taking a risk, asking for what you want, and locking down the details of that second date!!

  2. I agree that you have to be mindful of where you attention is focused. I think a lot of people are so worried about what they’re going to say that they often forget to just listen and be mindful of what the other person is talking about so that you can you ask thoughtful and relevant questions. Doing this will definitely make for a more interesting date!

  3. Great tips! I especially love the part about not bringing up ones ex. It’s shocking to me how often that happens on a first date!

  4. Great suggestion to put a plan in motion for the next date. Hesitation can result in a potential opportunity missed. You got yourself to a first date, if there’s a connection why leave it to chance?

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